I was nine years old when I found out I would have to do body maintenance for the rest of my life. “What kind of God would design my body to be such a make-work project?” I protested to my mother who, at this point, was used to me questioning everything about the world I had been born into.
I immediately began bargaining with her. “How seldom can I get away with showering?” I demanded. “Once every three days,” she replied. Preserving my teeth was non-negotiable, it turned out. “But you still have to brush and floss three times a day.”
Content with my showering win, I stormed out of the kitchen, but not without having the last word with both my mother and God: “I’m not going to brush my hair, or tuck in my shirts. I’m going to live a life of adventure, and I simply won’t have time.”
It’s fifty years on, and I’m still living true to my words that day. I’ve learned that a clean diet and exercise are the twin underpinnings of health. That candles and baths make body maintenance fun. And that the best beauty regimen is sun-kissed skin and windswept hair.
